Expectations. Are they a big set up for a big let
down or are they justifiable?
“If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.”
“Would you like to know your future?
If your answer is yes, think again. Not knowing is the greatest
life motivator. So enjoy, endure, survive each moment as it comes to you in its
proper sequence -- a surprise.”
“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them
for who they are.”
Oof. I relate to all three of these.
Sylvia Plath’s
idea seems so dismal but I have had the experience so often of expecting
someone to either perform or deliver or show up and been let down. I think it’s part of life for things not
to work out but it’s how I react that makes it painful. I have been known to take things
personally only to be shown that circumstances were not in anyone’s control and
so things didn’t work out the way I “planned” it or that they just weren’t
meant to be. I get resentful and hurt;
it’s a knee jerk reaction with me.
Now, intellectually I know that this does no good. I know that my expectations are
sometimes way to high or I count on someone else’s a little too much to deliver
my satisfaction but the feeeeeling is that God hates me or I am worthless, why even try. I have to admit, that happens less and
less the older I get but then, I have been through this a lot. That’s so hilarious to me! Yep…I’ve been burned. I now know that I just need to do my
own work and leave the expectations of others alone. I do not get upset if things don’t work out my way because
maybe the other way is even better…or at least different.
The fact is
Vera Nazarian’s quote works for me.
I like the way things unfold.
I like the path. I like not
knowing. I like doing the footwork anyway. It’s been my experience so far that Vera’s idea is the most
honest path in my business. Yes, I
do have responsibilities and other people counting on me but the things I can
control are – showing up on time, being prepared, coming from a loving and kind
place and doing what I said I would do.
Donald Miller,
you’re statement hits home with me.
Who am I to demand perfection in someone when I am imperfect too? That’s a laugh. In my last blog I talked a lot about
jealousy and judgment. These are also traits I am not proud of. They are bourn out of fear. I think a lot of artists no matter how
highly evolved or successful still have a modicum of fear. Um yeah, could that be because they are
under intense scrutiny not only from press, fans, peers and the media but their
own perfectionism? Am I so rigid in having my ideas expressed and attended to
by others that a mistake is a major assault on me personally? Do I then eye you with great disdain
and add on a label of ineptness? Geeze…oh how I have failed over
and over and not lived up to others’ expectations…I am sure of it. How could I hold a different standard to you than of myself?
Oof again. Lessons need to be learned. Humility needs to be in place. Acceptance is the key. My head: “Oh yeah? Go F
Yourself!” I am a work in progress I guess.
I am striving
in my classes to let people know the truth about the Voice Over Business, to
strive to be better and then the best and to help other people learn and grow
too. Being the best is not an
expectation it’s a goal. Helping
others, well I need to get out of my own personal cheering section of a head
and do something for someone else once in awhile. In my experience perfection doesn’t exist no matter how hard
I try to make it happen or believe it will but the journey towards creating
something good and human in my art is the most satisfying, exciting thing I
have ever experienced. I CAN expect that journey to be almost perfect.
I’m no expert
but this is how I feel.
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